Perhaps the most famous face to face coach, (some would say “in your face”), confronting high conflict couples and families is Dr. Phil. Many arrive to the first few coaching sessions with a report of a breakdown in ability to communicate, and a loss of a sense of humor. I know that it will be important to not only stimulate new awareness and
accountability but to inject a few laughs as well. What I also know is that it may take a long time for people to let go of their early learned and deeply ingrained loyalty to the images and voices of one’s extended family. So no matter how much time one may spend practicing new styles or modes of communicating, and laughing about one’s flaws, the bottom line is to give oneself permission to face fear — to move on into an uncertain future. Growing up means listening to one’s own voice and creating one’s own image of relating while the competing voices and images of our models pop up and derail our best intentions. We “can’t communicate” usually translates to I am having trouble communicating with my own self and “I don’t want to know it.”
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HARD Realities of Relationship Coaching (24.9 KiB)